After being nagged day by day leading up to August 21 about wearing special glasses while viewing the solar eclipse, the people of America saw their own president, Donald J. Trump, look at the eclipse with his own bare eyes. What does this mean for us? For our country? For our world?

When Trump did what millions of Americans were implored not to do last Monday, most of his critics chuckled a little and shook their heads at his supposed error.

Well, those detractors are correct: the president did slip up, but not in the way they assume. No, Trump’s mistake was not that he exposed his beady eyes to potential blindness by staring at the rare phenomenon that is the eclipse but that he may have exposed a closely guarded government secret: the earth is flat.

Now, how does the flat earth relate to the eclipse? Well, if the earth is flat, then the globe would not orbit the sun the way it would if it were round. Highly-educated flat-earthers believe that the sun and moon are both mere holograms, designed to trick the sheep-like citizens into buying into a spherical earth.

According to these flat earth researchers, the eclipse is just the sun hologram updating*. And if that is true, then how would the simple rebooting of a hologram blind us? In fact, how would looking at an everyday hologram of the sun at all damage our eyes, like Big Brother wants us to believe? The establishment is putting us in such great fear of blindness that we become blind to the truth. How ironic.

It all makes sense, really. What would stop a typical establishment president from exposing the truth to us would not stop Donald Trump, the anti-establishment, swamp-draining man he is, from doing so. Why has the media and government constantly been pressing the idea of possible impeachment for Trump? The mainstream simpletons clearly cannot handle the notion that our president will reveal to us the truth regarding the shape of our planet, and want to get rid of him immediately. Never mind the fact that threats of impeachment came well before the eclipse (irrelevant).

Wake up, people (or “sheeple,” as conspiracy scientists coin us). Our president is risking his life to tell us something. We have been lied to our entire lives about the geometrical structure of our planet. We have been blinded trying not to go blind. So look at the “sun.” In seven years, look right at that “eclipse.” No glasses required**. If we all put aside our differences and band together, we can overthrow the establishment right off the edge of our very flat*** earth.

*Flat-earthers have failed to explain why the updating of the sun hologram is only fully visible in certain places or really any of the specifics about this very well-researched theory. Surely, they’ll come out with more information. Maybe.

**Do not actually follow this advice.

***round. The earth is round. Sorry.